Last night I was not well, just wanted to cry from the news of the ultrasound. Randy keep trying to know what is wrong, as he knows me very well. I told him that I was just tired. I know he is worrying more for me. I really hope that I won’t have the miscarriage, if I have that again before he leaves, and yet, I don’t want to go through that by myself, it is so difficult. I am seeing Christine tonight and at least I will be able to relieve myself about it to her. I feel like a zombie, just walking through days and not really realizing what is around me. I just want to crawl in a ball and stay still for a while. I can’t wait for Randy to leave as I am so tired of trying to be energetic and cheerful. I know he is getting annoyed at me looking like I do right now. He will understand after his trip.
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