Today is the hardest day. I feel very claustrophobe being in the same 2 spot in the house, both in the living room, either the leather coach lying down, or the futon half sited. I am fed up having to ask for every little things, water, food, Kleenex. Etc etc etc. It has been only 1 week and I have 3 more weeks to go. I was able to keep my spirit up the whole week and not complain but this morning it is not really working. I will not stay like that because this is not me, I am positive and I have to be strong. My stomach feels like if I have my period which I don’t and will not for a couple of week, it is pretty annoying, as I don’t want to have to deal with this, on top of everything else. I didn’t mention that before but my lower stomach is feeling annoying, it feels like I have a 4 inches taped from one side to the other one and that it is really tight, I didn’t really feel it so much after the operation, but now I really feel it. I feel my heart beat weird, beating too loud in my chest and too slow. I know it is only a feeling but kind of worry you.
I am thinking of attempting a car ride, wich mean that I would need to go and walk the hallway, down the stairs, walk and sit in the car. I don’t know if it is realistic as just my short shower standing up kill me every time. Plus, after the operation coming back home, was very painful. We will see. Funny how little normal thing in life get to be so complicated when you are sick. I usually helped people on the street, going down the stairs in the subway with a cane, open the door to someone in the wheelchairs etc. I will really make a point from now one, to do it even more. Every little attentions and help, mean so much. And it is so great when someone think of doing something without you asking for it.
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I went for my car ride, we didn’t go far as bump and turn hurt my stomach but it was so nice to be outside. I really needed that. Nothing better then riding your car with your husband and it was really refreshing. Tomorrow, usually I would play baseball, but I obviously can’t for the rest of the season, I want Randy to go, I don’t think I will have anyone to stay here with me, so Randy doesn’t want to leave me alone, but I am forcing Randy to go, he needs to change his mind and have some fun, plus, the workout will be good. I am having dinner right now, eating some linguini with my favorite marinara sauce and some ground beef. Bless my husband as he can cook! They say that eating meat will help to heal the wound, weird. Anyway, I need to eat as much red meat as I can, and green veggies to bring my hemoglobin back to normal. Breakfast and dinner, are where I can eat the most. Watching a movie right now, Pride and glory we will see how much of it I will actually understand.
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